I saw you scream
I heared your lungs
Exploding, while
Those stupid drugs
Were killing your
Heart, brain, and eyes
While chimicals were
Closing skys
In front if you.
I saw you scream
I heared your lungs
Exploding, while
Those stupid drugs
Were killing your
Heart, brain, and eyes
While chimicals were
Closing skys
In front if you.
Can you hear them, Darling?
Can you hear them on the wind?
Can you hear them call my name?
I hear them all the time now, Darling
Begging me to listen
they're calling me, Darling
Calling me to them
But I will not go
I will not leave you, Darling
I promise you
Can you feel that, Darling?
Can you feel their eyes on us?
Can you feel them watching?
I feel them all the time now, Darling
Watching every move I make
They're always watching, Darling
Wanting me to be with them
But they cannot have me
I belong to you, Darling
Always and forever
Can you see that, Darling?
Can you see the angels tears?
Can you see the angels crying?
Self harm...
Oh is so beautiful, wonderful even. You feel the bade or the flame, or whatever and you just sigh in relief. Oh how fucking awesome is this? To become addicted to seeing your own blood. To come to need the pain to feel alright. You become like a chain smoker that needs his nicotine and without it, he's just a jumpy mess.
But that is everyone else. I'm a cutter myself and the blade is so nice.
The first cut is always the shallowest and over time, you go deeper and deeper; seeing how far you can go. Then you just dig and dig, needing to see how much blood can flow.
But you can't forget the scars, that begin to appear. Over time
I scratch,
White marks appear.
As they turn red,
Out pours all my anger.
I smash,
My head against walls.
Pain soars through my body,
Releasing all my mental pain.
I burn,
Red marks on my skin.
They bring freedom,
Setting me free from the fires of hell.
Hurting no one but myself.
Finding mental freedom from physical pain.
Red, white, purple, blue.
Anger, rejection, upset, pain.
People say it's wrong,
They look down their noses.
Only making things worse,
Friends leave, strangers frown.
So,
I can't cope with my mental pain,
But i've never inflicted pain on YOU.
I have an addiction.
It is called Self-Harm.
Self-harmers enjoy cutting, burning, and mutilating themselves. The term is widely misunderstood.
We dont do it for the attention, we don't do it because we want to die.
We do it for the high. For the rush and the initial "Woah" of the first cut or burn.
We do it because it makes us feel better. Scientifically, the release of blood pumps adrenaline and endorphins through us. Which makes us happy.
But for me, drawing a razor across my skin and seeing the blood flow, is an ecstacy. I love it, and I hate it. So much.
At the same time.
Seeing myself bleed is a way for my emotions to be let out.
Standing on my own.
Feeling frightened and alone.
Monsters around me creep.
Nightmare fears reach out from the deep.
I feel my breath slipping away.
My eyes close and pray.
A light comes down from high above.
Surrounding me in warmth and love.
It's heard my cries.
It dries my eyes.
The darkness flees into the shadows.
As I feel sweet relief from bitter sorrows.
I look towards the light,
and I ask "Where were you in my plight?"
Then it dawns on me.
He was always there.
I just couldn't see.